


Lost Star

by whutjusthappend



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bestfriends Jihan, Gen, M/M, Romance, Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 05:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10269320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whutjusthappend/pseuds/whutjusthappend
Summary: He was a star, a lost one.Based on Adam Levine's Lost Stars





	

Joshua has always loved rainy days.

 

It was the excuse to ride down the endless road in a beat away pickup truck with his best friend in the shotgun seat to see the stars, not on the sky but on the rain streaked roads as it reflected the million city lights, the excuse to bicker on what’s better—coffee or chocolate in this weather, and the excuse to hear Jeonghan hum the rainy day playlist set on loop.

 

It was the excuse to hold on to the promise of home not in his parents’ house but on the ratty couch on Jeonghan's basement as they just escape and settle in for a night of movies, the excuse to use the lone pair of mugs for hot chocolate--Jeonghan always won—as they bury themselves under layers of blanket while he recited the poetry he wrote the night before. The excuse to stare at him once he fall asleep while listening to the pitter patter sound of rain as he wondered if he’s willing to take the risk and just confess. On some nights, he’d be determined to just go with it. On some he’d feel his resolve crumble because he’d realize that what they had was already perfect, just too precious to gamble.

 

But he didn’t need to worry about that now. Today, it’s just different.

 

It was raining but it carried no promise.

 

There were no stars on the afternoon sky overcast by the thick layer of clouds. Not a hint of vibrancy on his surrounding which reminded him of a scene from a black and white movie.

 

There was no rainy day playlist, rather it were some songs handpicked by Jeonghan. Especially for  _his funeral_.

 

He still remembers how they made a promise to each other as joke. To make sure to blast Ariana Grande on the funeral of whoever dies first. It was supposed to be a joke but he was surprised when her parents called him the night they found the letter. The suicide letter.

 

He wished for it and It was crazy, so crazy and so so… Jeonghan. He was crazy and Joshua loved him for it. And it hurts so much. He was drowning, choking inside and it was draining all of his energy. So he was there. Standing motionless as his eyes followed the casket, his casket while it was wheeled  down through the aisle. His face blank and his eyes devoid of emotion a complete opposite of what's going on in his mind.

 

“Tsk tsk, that boy, really. What is wrong with this generation.” A woman in her forties beside him shook her head as if she was insulted by the song choice. She then turned to a 12 year-old girl beside her which he assumed was her daughter. “Don’t ever turn like him when you grow up.”

 

Easily like that, the trigger was pulled. And so he ran away, there to the gardens before he explodes. Because he wanted to trash away, to shout at them, curse them, and accuse them. All of them are the same. Phonies who never took the time to know him. These people, these same people who went here with grave faces and the necessary ‘i'm-sorry-he-was-so-young-he-was-an-angel-it’s-such-a-waste’ bullshit were the ones who judged him. They hated Jeonghan and he was sure they will continue to hate him.

 

He was drowning, choking, dying inside. His legs giving away to the grass beneath him.

 

_One less problem without ya!_

 

_I got one less problem without ya!_

 

It was unfair. They treated him like dirt stain that needed to be wiped off. To them he was a one less problem to their lives. And even after death, he would be one of those ghosts, the ones people would refuse to talk about with anyone except to the kids as they painted him as a bad example.

 

Jeonghan had flaws, many of them. It was okay for it made him human. But these fucked up society, they looked up for the wrong flaws, those constructed by its unfair judgement.

 

He shined, far too bright for their prying eyes and so they covered him. Clouds and dust thrown at him. He was a star, a lost one.


End file.
